Today is Jan 3rd 2010 and I feel the need to make this year mean something other than another year passed,survived. I have in deed survived a potentially life threatening disease this year and maybe this is what is driving me to make a mark of some sort. Breast cancer is, they say, a disease for those who sacrifice themselves to an unhealthy degree. Without wishing to beat myself up or dwell on the negative aspects of my life, I have called this blog TTYblogger which stands for True To Yourself which is what I aim to be in a conscious and thoughtful way from now on.

I want to be physically and mentally in tune with positive and healing actions and thoughts. I want to find joy in simply living and not in getting. I am minutely aware of the potential happiness and fulfilment already in my life. I want to concentrate on this. Open it up. Dwell on it and let it bring me satisfaction....... I want to practice loving what is. So......

This year I will not buy any clothes, shoes, boots, accessories, or jewelry.

This is an enormous challenge. I am a woman. I am a woman who cares about her appearance. I am a woman who has been identified by her appearance to perhaps a greater degree than most. I had a modelling careeer in the 80's\90's. I am approaching 50 yrs of age (april 2nd) with all the fears and insecurities this age brings. My body is in good shape for my age so I make myself feel better by buying clothes that look good on me.

So, my resolution for 2010 is to stop spending on meaningless , mind numbing, shiny, sparkly, soft, smooth, bright, tight, sheer, shaped, frilled, blunt, draped, beautiful exciting, calming, validating fineries....... and to look inside.... and to see what I have all around me right now.

I already feel relaxed at the prospect of NOT shopping for a whole year. Yes I know this will turn to panic and withdrawl at times, but I'm excited by a challenge and I want to achieve something meaningful this year after facing my own mortality and fragility in a shocking way last year.

I will keep a blog of how it goes. Any comments welcome.......